How to do shraddh at home without a pandit

The short answer

Shraddh is the act of remembering your ancestors and offering them food and water on the tithi, the lunar day, on which they died. During Pitru Paksha 2026, which runs from 26 September to 10 October, you pick the date that matches your ancestor's death tithi and do the ritual yourself. If you do not know the tithi, or can only manage one day, do it on 10 October, Sarva Pitru Amavasya, which covers everyone. The three things that actually matter are: setting aside a portion of cooked food before your family eats, offering water mixed with black til, and feeding at least one other person or creature that day. A pandit is not required. This is your act, not someone else's.

Step by step

1. Wake up and bathe before you begin. A simple shower counts. The idea is that you come to the ritual clean.

2. Find your ancestor's tithi. This is the lunar day they died, not the English calendar date. Check the tithi list below to match it to a date in 2026. If you do not know it, go to 10 October.

3. Light one lamp. A small diya with ghee or oil is enough. Place it in a clean spot, a corner of the kitchen or a table near a window works fine.

4. Take water in a small vessel and add a pinch of black til (sesame seeds). Hold the vessel in both hands, think of the person you are remembering by name, and slowly pour the water out, into a plant, a drain, or the ground outside. Do this once. If you have no black til, plain water is still an offering.

5. Cook a simple meal. It does not have to be elaborate. Rice, dal, a vegetable, and a roti are enough. Before anyone in the house eats, set aside one portion on a separate plate.

6. Place that portion outside or near a window for a crow, a cow, or a dog. Whichever creature comes first is fine. If you are in a flat and none come, leave the food on a ledge or give it to a stray animal when you step out.

7. Feed one person. This can be a neighbour, a domestic worker, someone at your door, or anyone who needs a meal. If no one is available, donate the equivalent in food or cash to someone in need that day.

8. Sit quietly for a few minutes and remember the person. Say their name aloud if you can. Think of something specific about them. This is the heart of the practice.

9. Then your family eats. The day is done.

What to offer

For the water offering, anything from this list works:

• Water (plain, or from a river if you have it)
• Black til / sesame seeds
• A few blades of kusha grass if available; skip it if not

For the food offering, keep it simple and cooked at home:

• Rice and dal
• Kheer if you can make it; it is traditional but not compulsory
• A roti or puri
• A piece of fruit
• No onion or garlic in the food on this day is a common practice, but practice varies by family

If this is you

You are doing this for the first time, alone, with no elder to ask

You are not going to get it wrong. The ritual is an act of remembering, and remembering sincerely is the whole thing. Follow the nine steps above, say the person's name out loud, and pour the water. That is a complete shraddh. Uncertainty about the exact procedure is normal; do what you can with what you have.

You are a working person with twenty minutes before office

Do the water offering before you leave, it takes five minutes. Set aside a portion of whatever you cook for breakfast or ask someone at home to set it aside at lunch. Feed a stray animal on your way to work or transfer money to a meal charity from your phone. The day does not require you to stay home.

You are living abroad and cannot travel

You can do every part of this where you are. Use water from your tap, black sesame seeds from any grocery store, and cook a simple meal. The offering to a crow or a dog works the same in any country, leave food outside for a bird or animal. The location does not change what the act means.

You are a daughter whose family says you should not do it

There is no universal rule that daughters cannot perform shraddh. Many families do hold this view, and practice varies widely by region and tradition. If your family objects and you want to honour your parent quietly, you can offer water, light a lamp, and sit in remembrance without making it a point of conflict. The intention is yours and it is valid.

The 2026 tithi dates, and one thing most calendars miss

Here are the tithis for Pitru Paksha 2026, confirmed for Varanasi:

One important note for 2026: Dwadashi does not get its own sunrise this year, so if your ancestor died on Dwadashi, you perform the shraddh on 7 October along with Ekadashi. Most printed calendars will not mention this. If you are in doubt, 10 October covers you.

Two dates worth knowing: 5 October, Matru Navami, is traditionally observed for mothers and the women of the family. 9 October, Chaturdashi, is for those who died suddenly, by accident, or far too young.

Common questions

Do I have to fast the whole day? Fasting is a common practice but it is not a requirement for the shraddh to be valid. Many people eat a simple meal after completing the ritual. If fasting is difficult for health reasons, eat normally and focus on the offering and the remembering.

Can I drink water during the day? Yes. Even those who keep a stricter fast on other occasions generally drink water on shraddh days. There is no rule against it.

What if I have to work and cannot do everything? Do the water offering in the morning before you leave, it is the most important part. Set aside food for a crow or a stray animal when you can. Even a shortened version done with attention is a real shraddh.

Can a son-in-law, a nephew, or someone other than a son perform it? Practice varies by family and region, but the underlying principle is that any descendant or close family member who remembers the person with sincerity can perform shraddh. If you are the one who wants to do it and you are connected to that person, that connection is what matters.

Work out your own family’s day. A shraddha follows the tithi the person died on, not the calendar date, so it moves every year. Put in the date and Ask Kanha will tell you which day it falls on this Pitru Paksha, and what to do that morning at home. It is free.

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