Which day is my mother's shraddha? Matru Navami explained

The short answer

Matru Navami falls on 5 October 2026, the ninth day of Pitru Paksha. It is the day traditionally set aside for mothers and for the married women of the family. If your mother died on the Navami tithi, or if you do not know which tithi she died on, this is your day. The three things that actually matter are: set aside a portion of food before the family eats, offer it to a crow, cow, or dog, and feed at least one person. You do not need a priest, a special item from a shop, or anyone's permission.

Step by step

1. Wake up and bathe before anything else. A clean body is the starting point; nothing elaborate is required beyond a normal bath.
2. Cook a simple meal at home. Rice, dal, a vegetable, and something sweet if possible. Use what is already in the kitchen.
3. Before serving anyone, set aside a portion on a separate plate or leaf. This portion is for your ancestors and is not touched by the family.
4. Take a small amount of water in your palm, add a pinch of black til (sesame seeds), and let it fall to the ground or into a vessel while thinking of your mother. If you have no black til, plain water is still meaningful; practice varies by family.
5. Light one lamp or diya near the food you have set aside. A simple cotton wick and any oil will do.
6. Place the set-aside food where a crow, cow, or dog can reach it. If you are in a flat with no access, leave it on the windowsill or a balcony. If no animal comes, you can immerse it in water.
7. Feed one person. This can be a neighbour, a person in need, or anyone who eats with sincerity. If no one is available, some families donate food or money to a place that feeds people.
8. Sit quietly for a few minutes and think of your mother. Say her name, recall something she did. This is the heart of the day.
9. The family then eats the rest of the meal. The day is done.

What to offer

For the ancestor's plate, use what you have cooked:

• Rice or khichdi
• Dal or any lentil preparation
• A vegetable dish
• Something sweet: a small piece of jaggery, a kheer, or even a biscuit if that is all you have

For the ritual itself, you need very little:

• Water (in a small vessel or your cupped palm)
• Black sesame seeds (black til), or white if black is not available
• One lamp or diya
• A leaf or small plate to hold the ancestor's portion

If this is you

Doing this for the first time, alone, with no elder to ask

You are not doing it wrong simply because no one taught you. Cook whatever you would have cooked anyway, set aside a plate, say your mother's name aloud, and offer the food to an animal or leave it outside. The sincerity of the act matters far more than the sequence of steps, and the shraddha is yours to perform; it does not require anyone else to make it valid.

A working person with twenty minutes before office

Do the minimum before you leave: boil some rice the night before if needed, set aside a small portion in the morning, add a pinch of til to a palmful of water and let it fall while thinking of her, then leave the food where a crow or dog can find it. Feed someone at lunch, even by paying for a colleague's meal or donating to a canteen. The day does not have to be a ceremony to count.

Someone living abroad who cannot travel

You do not need to be in India. Cook a meal in your own kitchen, set aside a portion, and place it outside your door or building for birds or animals. Water and til are available in most Indian grocery stores abroad; if not, plain water works. The act is yours wherever you are, and distance does not reduce it.

A daughter whose family says she should not do it

The rule that daughters cannot perform shraddha is a matter of regional custom, not a universal one, and practice genuinely varies by family and region. If your household does not permit it openly, you can do something quiet and personal: cook a meal, set aside a portion, sit with her memory, and offer water. Your love for your mother is reason enough, and no tradition takes that from you.

Why this day matters

Pitru Paksha is the fortnight when the boundary between the living and those who have gone is understood to be thinner than usual. Each day of the fortnight corresponds to a tithi, and the shraddha is performed on the tithi that matches the day the person died, not the calendar date. So if your mother died on a Navami in any month, any year, Navami during Pitru Paksha is her day.

Matru Navami carries a specific weight beyond the tithi rule. It is the day the tradition has set aside for mothers and for the women of the family, particularly those who were married. If you do not know the tithi of your mother's death, or if records were never kept, Matru Navami is the day that holds space for her.

The act of offering food and water is understood as a way of saying: I remember you, I am grateful, and I carry what you gave me. It is not a transaction and not a performance. Families who have kept this for generations often say the day feels quieter, more inward, than other days of the year.

If Navami is not your mother's tithi, and you are uncertain which day to observe, Sarva Pitru Amavasya on 10 October 2026 covers everyone. No one is left out on that day, and anyone whose tithi is unknown is remembered then.

Common questions

Can I keep this without fasting? Yes. Fasting is a personal choice and not a requirement for the shraddha itself. The core of the day is the offering and the act of feeding someone, not what you eat or do not eat. If fasting is difficult for health or work reasons, eat normally and focus on the offering.

Is water allowed during the day? If you are not fasting, there is no restriction on water. If you have chosen to fast, practice varies by family, and you should follow what your household has traditionally done. When uncertain, drinking water is generally permitted.

What if I have to work and cannot do anything until evening? The offering can be made in the evening. Set aside food from your dinner, offer water with til, and feed someone before you eat. The timing matters less than the act itself, and an evening shraddha is widely practised by working people.

Can a daughter or an unmarried person perform this? Can a man do Matru Navami? Matru Navami is specifically associated with mothers and the women of the family, but who performs the shraddha varies by family and region. A son, a daughter, or any close descendant can perform it. An unmarried person can do it. If you are the one who remembers her and wants to honour her, that is sufficient reason to observe the day.

Pitru Paksha 2026 runs from 26 September to 10 October. One note specific to this year: Dwadashi does not get its own sunrise in 2026, so anyone whose tithi is Dwadashi should observe on 7 October alongside Ekadashi. Most printed calendars will not mention this, so check carefully if Dwadashi is your date.

Work out your own family’s day. A shraddha follows the tithi the person died on, not the calendar date, so it moves every year. Put in the date and Ask Kanha will tell you which day it falls on this Pitru Paksha, and what to do that morning at home. It is free.

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